It sounds like you have been having a really tough time as a musician. It's unfortunate that you have been shadow banned, which means that you are no longer able to access certain features on a platform. This can be really tough for musicians, as it can impede their ability to promote their work, connect with fans, and reach new audiences. It's important to reach out to the platform to see if there is anything that can be done to resolve the issue. Additionally, it might be helpful to look for alternative platforms that you can use to promote your music and build your fanbase.